people who hate on flannel are not worth your time, you OWN that lumberjack look and chop down the haters
If you can’t understand Kenny on South Park, turn on closed captioning. It shows everything he says.
As much as you may hate them, cold showers are much better for your hair and skin.
When you’re at a bar, look down at the floor. Drunk people tend to drop their money.
If you do something embarrassing in public, immediately laugh at yourself. It’s the best way to diffuse the awkwardness.
In order to be a good liar, you need to convince everyone that you are a bad liar.
Getting nauseous from reading in a car? Tilt your head side to side and it’ll go away!
The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”
fun fact: you don’t cure depression by telling me i have nothing to be sad about
another fun fact: you dont cure anxiety by just getting up and doing whatever it is that makes you anxious